Writing a Wedding Speech for a Second Marriage
How to give a wedding toast when it's a second marriage: what's different, what to address, and how to make it feel right.
Related: Wedding Toast Guide : everything you need to raise a glass with confidence.
A second marriage is not a second draft. It's not a revision of something that didn't work. It's its own story, with its own weight, its own specific joy.
If you've been asked to speak at one, you already know it's different. The room feels different. The couple feels different. There's often more relief in the air alongside the celebration, more awareness of what it took to get here.
Your speech needs to honor that.
What's actually different
The structural elements of a good wedding speech are the same regardless of how many times someone has been married: opening, stories, the couple, the toast. The technique doesn't change.
What changes is the context you're speaking into.
The couple has more history. Not just with each other, but as individuals. They've had full lives, some of them hard ones. They came to this with more perspective than most people do, and the room knows it. A speech that treats this like a first wedding, all unblemished optimism and naivete about what marriage actually is, will feel slightly off.
There may be children present. Blended families are common in second marriages. Kids, whether young or grown, are often in the room, and sometimes in the wedding party. The speech has to be written with that awareness. This is a family forming, not just a couple marrying.
The guests may have complicated feelings. Some friends and family loved the first spouse. Some went through the divorce alongside the person you're toasting. The room is not starting from zero. A good speech acknowledges the journey without dwelling on it.
The couple themselves are different people. Not worse, not damaged. Clearer. They know what they want in a way that younger people often don't. That's worth saying.
What to include
Acknowledge the journey without naming it explicitly. You don't need to say "after everything you've been through" or "after your first marriage ended." The room already knows. What you can say is something that honors the version of this person who showed up: the resilience, the self-knowledge, the clarity about what matters.
"I've known her for fifteen years. I've watched her figure out who she is in real time. The person standing up there today knows exactly what she wants and exactly why she's here. That took work. I have enormous respect for it."
That's honest. It acknowledges a journey without specifics. It lands as a compliment and a recognition at the same time.
Celebrate what they found in each other. Why this person, why now? What does this relationship do that's specific to them? You're looking for the observations that only someone close to one of them could make. The thing that changed. The quality of their joy that's different.
Include the kids, if there are kids. If children are part of this new family, and if you know them or have observed them together, a brief, warm acknowledgment can be one of the most moving moments in the speech. Not a big production. Just a line or two that says: this family is something. Everyone in this room can see it.
Say something about what love looks like the second time. Not comparing it to the first. Not explaining why this one is better. Just: what does mature, chosen, deliberate love actually look like? It tends to be quieter, more grounded, more knowing. If you've seen that in them, say it.
What not to say
Do not reference the first marriage or the ex. Not as a joke. Not as a contrast. Not even obliquely in a way that makes people wonder if you're obliquely referencing it. There is no version of "well, the last one didn't work out but THIS time" that lands well. Leave it alone entirely.
Do not make jokes about divorce statistics. This is funnier in your head than in a room full of people who've been through one.
Do not over-explain or over-contextualize. You don't need to narrate the couple's history or give a timeline of how they got together and what they overcame. The room lived some of it. Trust them to fill in what they know.
Do not treat this as a consolation prize. The tone should never suggest that this marriage is good despite what came before. It's good because of who these people are, period. Framing matters enormously here.
Do not single out complicated family dynamics. Second marriages often involve some tension between families, between kids and new partners, between exes and the new spouse. None of that belongs in a toast. You're celebrating what's being built, not commenting on what's complicated.
Getting the tone right
The tone of a second marriage speech tends to be warmer and slightly more grounded than the first-wedding variety. Less breathless, more settled. The humor is still welcome but it tends to run toward warmth rather than roast.
Think of the difference between excitement and certainty. First marriage speeches often sound excited. The best second marriage speeches sound certain. There's a conviction in them that comes from knowing the person, knowing what they've navigated, and being genuinely confident about what you're watching happen.
That's the tone you're going for.
A frame that works
If you're not sure how to structure the speech, this holds up well for second marriages:
Open with who they are, specifically and honestly. Not who they were, not where they started. Who they are right now, and why that's worth celebrating.
Then: what you've seen in this relationship that's distinctive. Not "they're so happy," but what form that happiness actually takes.
Then: the turn. This family, this chapter, this life they're building. Where it's going.
Then: the toast. Short, direct, genuine.
The whole thing should run three to five minutes. The compactness is part of the point. You're not explaining a whole life. You're marking a moment in one.
Keep reading:
A speech for a second marriage asks more of you as a writer, not because it's more complicated but because it asks you to be more precise. The room is full of people who've been paying attention. Your speech should be too.
Ready to write yours? SpokenVow walks you through the stories, the specific observations, and the moments that matter, then builds drafts already calibrated to the occasion and the couple.
