Brother of the bride speech
You have the advantage of knowing her longer than anyone else in that room. The speech just needs to use it well.
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The angle only a brother has
The room expects you to be funny. There's a version of the brother speech that's basically a roast with a toast tacked on, and most people will accept it. But the speeches people remember do something else with that history.
They use it to show who she actually is, not just what she used to do. The laugh makes the room warm, and then you use that warmth to say something genuine. The humor is the setup. The emotion is the point.
You have more material than you need. The question is which material, and what it's for. The answer is almost always: the one story that shows her character, told in a way that has both of you in it.
What works in a brother of the bride speech
The sibling angle
The groom knows her as a partner. The maid of honor knows her as a friend. You knew her as a kid. That's the long view. Nobody else in the room has it. A best friend can say "I know her so well." You can say "I knew her when." Those are different things, and the second one is more interesting.
One specific story
Pick a moment that shows who she is, not just what she did. The difference matters. If the story has you both in it, where your dynamic with her is visible, it's the right one. If you're just observing from a distance, dig deeper. What did you actually do together? What did you fight about?
A brief groom moment
You don't know him as well as you know her. Say so. Something like "I wasn't sure what to think at first" is a better opening than generic praise, because it's probably true. Then: what changed your mind? One specific thing the room can picture. Not a resume. One honest observation.
An honest close
End aimed at her. Not a recap. Not a summary. Something direct that only you could say, after all of it, after all the years. The toast is the last line. Keep it short. The close is what the room will remember.
“You knew her when.
That’s the whole speech.”
How to structure a 4-5 minute brother of the bride speech
Four parts. The story is the center. Everything else supports it.
Open with a hook, not an introduction
Skip "Hi, I'm [name], the brother of the bride." Everyone knows. Start somewhere specific instead. One line that drops the room into a moment, an image, or a truth about her. Give them something to hold onto before you've said your name.
A paragraph on the sibling relationship
Not a summary of your whole history. A few sentences that give the room a feel for what it was like growing up with her. What was she like? What were you like together? The texture of the relationship, not the timeline of it.
The main story
This is the center of the speech. Give it room. One moment, told slowly enough that the room can be in it with you. Everything else in the speech is in service of this. If you get this part right, the rest is easy.
The groom
One or two specific observations. Not a résumé of his qualities. Something you've actually seen. The way she is around him, or the thing he did that made you understand it. Brief and genuine beats thorough and vague.
The full guide
What humor is actually for, how to pick the right story, what to leave out, and a full example speech.
Read the full guide → Brother of the Bride SpeechMore speech guides
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